Proverbs 3:5:6 "Trust in The LORD with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE shall direct thy paths."

Proverbs 3:26 "For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken."

Lately, I found myself being very insecure.  I was so confused because I thought I had gotten the victory over it.  I had not felt this way since years ago...this horrible fear that I would not be accepted or loved.  It had crept up once again and seized my heart and had overcome and over whelmed me.  The anxiety I was experiencing, I knew was irrational, but still it was there gripping me.  I was ashamed and embarrassed...I felt awkward and like a little girl again begging for acceptance from my peers. 

What was wrong with me?  I hadn't worried so much about the acceptance of others for several years now, ever since I started drawing closer to JESUS...why now?  I remarked to a very dear friend one day while in tears and distress over a photograph of me, what is wrong with me?  I thought I had gotten over this?  

Later I realized...my insecurities had come back so strongly because lately I had gotten off the path that The LORD wanted me to be on.  Lately I had been living by my own fleshly desires and emotions.  I had stopped seeking JESUS and what HE wanted for me.  HE never leaves me...but I was drifting away from HIS plan for me.  That is why my insecurity had gripped me so...out of the blue.  My confidence had shifted from being in HIM, to being in myself.  

You see, I realize that I am nothing without HIM, but with HIM, through HIM, I can do ALL things, just as it promises me in Philippians 4:13.  So therefore when I place my confidence in HIM, who can do all things, I rest.  When I place my confidence in myself alone...fear overtakes me, that feeling of not being good enough.  

So you see, in JESUS CHRIST I am free...but without HIM, I am bound to slavery.  Slavery to sin, slavery to my own desires, and slavery to try to obey laws and rules to be good enough, to which I cannot, nor can anyone because we simply are not enough on our own merit.  Through JESUS because of HIS sacrifice, I am made righteous, I am good enough...and I am accepted by GOD and I am confident in that. 

When I accepted JESUS and HIS Righteousness...that means that my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins are forgiven...already as if I never did them.  I am made pure.  My soul...the part that will go to Heaven when I die was sealed the moment I believed and asked The LORD to cleanse me and save me...He sealed me before even one sin could enter in, and that is the part that will be with HIM forever one day...the real me.  The saved me.  This fleshly body will go back to the dust from where it came.  

So, until the day that HE takes me HOME to be with HIM, I contend with this flesh and it's nature and it's earthly desires...because I am not a perfect person...not even close.  I fall sometimes, I am weak in my flesh sometimes and I give in to that weakness sometimes and I sin.   I battle with my flesh and it's desires to bring it under subjection to do what is right and what is pleasing to GOD, not so that I can go to HEAVEN, see I could never be good enough to earn that...even at my best...:)  Salvation is a free gift of GOD through faith in HIS SON...I battle to do good so that I can live in victory, so that I can live with integrity, so that I can live my life for HIM not for myself.  So that through my life, others can see JESUS and come to HIM.  I am not my own anymore, I've been bought with a price, that price that JESUS paid for me with HIS life.  I live for HIM, and to serve HIM and others, so that my life can be an example leading unbelievers to HIM so that they can be saved from death and from hell.

Is it hard sometimes...sure is, giving up things or people that I love for the sake of CHRIST...it's so painful at times...but I know that if I am going to make a difference, if I am going to help the ones I love the most, then I have to be that example...It's the most loving, selfless thing that I can do for them, even though they may not understand right now, but it's the most important for them to see my life and know that I do not live by my own power...but that power of The HOLY SPIRIT inside me, strengthens me to do the things that I must do, those things that I cannot do on my own, because I'm not strong enough alone. :)

So today, as I write, I'm broken because of my own mistakes, and I live with the things I've done wrong and the hurt that I have caused myself and others in my life...and if I'm not very careful, that guilt could overtake me, and I cry out for GOD to forgive me and my failures but GOD keeps echoing in my spirit..."I AM GREATER Than your sin and your mistakes, your failures and your fleshly desires...trust ME and delight in ME I will bring to pass the desires of your heart, even those things which are impossible."  

Is there something that GOD has called you to do, but it seems impossible?  Maybe you see your weakness and your inability to do the task.  Beloved I urge you not to focus on your own strength or weakness.   Place your confidence in JESUS who can do anything.  Understand that if HE is asking you to do something, then HE will be the strength that you need to accomplish it.  I have said it so many times and I will continue, GOD doesn't always call the qualified, but HE does ALWAYS Qualify the called.  He never asks us to do things alone...so even if you are afraid, step out by faith and trust and obey knowing that HE will do that which you cannot do alone.  

Don't focus on your past mistakes or sins, ask HIM to forgive you and move on.  That is what I have found myself having to do lately so that it does not cripple my walk with The LORD.  See, the devil will throw your past sins and mistakes in your face and use them against you every day of your life if you will allow him to.  He wants to hinder the work of CHRIST in you and me.  I'm dealing with this right now in my own walk with The LORD.

See, I would never just try to hurt someone...but I've found that every time, I try to live according to my own desires, my own emotions...then I myself gets hurt and so do others.  Then when I want to run to someone that I love so deeply, and fix what I have done wrong to them, in front of them, when I want so much to save them, to stop the hurt I have caused, then I feel helpless because I cannot, instead I hit my knees in prayer and I trust HIM, and I know by faith that HE will do that which I have asked HIM to do.  I may NEVER see it...but it will come to pass...I declare it by faith and I know that HE will NEVER let me down when I pray HIS will.  So my confidence lies in HIM...and that is peace like a river in the middle of my heartbroken storm.  Oh how I love HIM...but more importantly and more amazingly  Oh how HE LOVES ME...and dear one...How HE loves you...how HE longs to comfort you and to help you do the things that you can't do alone...because see in our weakness...HIS strength is made manifest and that is BEAUTIFUL.  I love you all and praying for you all...Child of GOD, Never stop believing and obeying...HE IS FAITHFUL :).

In HIS kindness God called you to share in HIS eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, HE will restore, support, and strengthen you, and HE will place you on a firm foundation. (1 Peter 5:10)

I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me.  (Philippians 4:13)

Delight yourself in The LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

FATHER, 

I come to YOU today thanking You that You are greater than our sin, our mistakes, our failures and our fleshly desires.  I thank YOU that You have given those who are born again through the precious blood of YOUR SON JESUS, the empowerment of YOUR HOLY SPIRIT to do those things which You have called us to do.  LORD I ask that YOU give a new, bold confidence to we Your Children and help us to repent of our sins and live in that forgiveness that only comes from YOU and place our trust and confidence in You so that we can run this race with patience and live our lives for You with good character and integrity so that we can bring the lost to YOU LORD, for YOUR GLORY.  FATHER I praise YOU and Thank YOU that You are all powerful and that Your strength is made perfect in us who are so weak.  Thank YOU for YOUR GREAT LOVE and faithfulness and today I trust YOU by faith that YOU will bring to pass that which I have asked You to do.  Thank You again FATHER for Your provision, Your wisdom, Your strength and Your LOVE.  There is no other like YOU.  In the precious name of JESUS I pray...Amen.